Emotions
by KataHime
Summary: Sometimes, we go through a lot of different emotions before we realize we're in love. Cuddy's POV


**Emotions**

 **A/N: A Cameron/Cuddy fanfic**

 **Summary: Emotions. Cuddy's POV. Overall AU, no set point**

* * *

 **Intrigue**

It started without her realizing. A fascination maybe? Allison Cameron was always fascinating, after all. Graduating at the top of her class from med school and having her internship at Mayo Clinic were the reasons she had wanted Cameron employed at PPTH. At the time, she hadn't even thought of the younger brunette as anything other than a good asset to the hospital. But what _was_ with the sudden interest?

The thought of the young brunette's crush on House was certainly interesting but not that note-worthy. A lot of women had thought of him as charming at first, in an older-gentleman kind of way, before they'd come to their senses and realize that he was really just a mean, narcissistic asshole. But she'd actually gone on a date with him, had played it off like it had gone well, and still had a crush on him afterwards, albeit not as strong as before. But it was there, and that was what intrigued her.

She thought about it constantly. She played the reasons out in her head, trying to figure out why. It could be that Cameron was a masochist, a glutton for punishment – she'd ignored the sweep of arousal that invaded her senses when that thought appeared. She'd toyed with the idea of Cameron just being damaged and wanted to fix anyone she could, but that would've been the conclusion the man had come up with so she dismissed it. At one point, she'd thought it was because she harbored feelings for House, but it didn't take her long to accept that the feelings had changed.

She had loved House – once – when they were both students; they'd had a one-night stand, for Christ's sake. He was brilliant, the best diagnostician in the entire state of New Jersey, world-renowned. But he was so focused on puzzles and knowing everything that, while he was attractive, his personality made loving him impossible.

So her mind settled once again on its own puzzle: Allison Cameron.

* * *

 **Jealousy**

It took her a while but eventually she could put the younger brunette out of her mind, the puzzle slowly losing its intrigue. They saw each other in the halls, whenever Cameron had clinic duty, sometimes when House had clinic duty and the fellow would cover, or whenever she was in House's office to yell at him, but that was as far as it went; there were no constant thoughts, no random appearances out of the ordinary. Things slowly began returning to normal – as normal as they could be with House working in her hospital – up until the point that she found her and Dr. Chase in the broom closet.

The sudden emotion that hit her made her dizzy, bile rising in her throat, but she choked it down. The very thought of his hands on Cameron had her seeing red. She wanted it to be anger – the entire way through her lecture of proper hospital conduct and sex with coworkers she wanted it to be anger – but she knew it wasn't. Blinding jealousy coursed through her veins. She had the urge to fire the surgeon on the spot, but she couldn't fire him without firing the demure brunette, and she _couldn't_ do that. How many people would say it was because she was sexist? So she settled for a warning.

The urge to tell the immunologist to stay behind was strong, but she managed to resist it, keeping her hands balled into fists so tight that the knuckles turned white.

And the puzzle returned tenfold.

* * *

 **Concern**

Most people wouldn't call her a friendly woman. Yes, she was compassionate towards hospital patients and their families, but to the rest of the hospital she was the boss, the decision-maker, the paycheck-signing boss. And while House got away with far more than she liked to admit, she also considered herself to be fair to her employees. She had many rules that she set for herself as well, and one of them was to never get personally involved in any of her employees' lives unless she was asked for advice. And like with all things Allison Cameron, she failed that rule miserably.

It started after one of House's cases. There was a mountain of paperwork to be completed by the Diagnostic team, and while she knew House wouldn't have his done for well over a month, his fellows would have theirs completed. And really, paperwork was all she had in mind when she entered the conference room that was connected to House's office. Until she saw Allison sitting at the table, lab coat draped behind her chair, furiously working on her paperwork, eyes red with tears. For a moment, the only thing she wanted to do was walk calmly out of the room, pretend like she hadn't seen her. The gnawing worry that took over had her crossing the room.

"Robert, I thought I told you to leave me alone." Her heart clenched painfully at the hurt in the younger brunette's voice.

"You didn't tell me that, Dr. Cameron," she replied as she grabs the completed files.

Allison glanced up, shock written on her face, stuttering out, "Dr. Cuddy! W-what are you doing here?"

She held up the files as an answer, a soft frown slipping onto her face, "Usually you're the first done."

"I'm almost done." Blue-green eyed focused once again on the paper in front of her but the pen in her hand remained still.

"Is everything alright, Dr. Cameron?" The urge to touch the younger woman was strong enough that she clasped her hands around the files, holding them in front of her like a shield.

"Fine. Would it be alright if I handed this in to you tomorrow morning?"

"Of course." A beat. "I'll just leave you to it." She headed towards the door, her heart finally calming, "If you want to talk, my door's always open. You have a good night, Dr. Cameron."

"You too, Dr. Cuddy."

She watched for a moment, outside the conference room, as the immunologist took a breath before continuing on with her paperwork. She didn't sleep well that night.

* * *

 **Surprise**

The sun was barely peeking through the blinds in her office when she entered it and found an odd but welcomed discovery. There had been a lot of things that had surprised her over the years, most of them either House related or personal matters, but Allison Cameron sleeping on the couch in her office took the cake. She stepped further into her office, closing the door behind her as she made her way past the sleeping brunette to her desk. As she placed her purse in the bottom drawer, she turned back to the woman, watching her.

Her office was always locked up tight, had been when she got in today, so to see the young doctor was peculiar. She suspected House had something to do with it, but she'd deal with him later. Currently, her entire focus was on Cameron. The younger woman was curled on the couch with her lab coat as a pseudo-blanket, shoes toed off beside the couch. The papers from the night before were placed neatly on the table in front of her.

She glanced at the clock to see it just after 6. Most of the day staff were just now beginning to trickle in to relieve the night staff. Her secretary wouldn't be in for a couple hours. It was completely against her code of conduct, she decided as she pulled out her laptop and sat at her desk, but what harm could it be to let the woman sleep for just a little longer.

After all, what were surprises good for if they weren't going to last?

* * *

 **Anger**

She didn't see much of Cameron in the next few weeks. After the young doctor had woken up in her office, she'd stuttered through an apology, placed the papers from the night before onto her desk, and left her office faster than she had a chance to reassure her. To make matters worse, every time she saw the woman, a scarlet blush would cross normally pale features. She was sure House had noticed, but he hadn't come barging into her office to gloat. That made her think he hadn't completely caught on.

More recently, it wasn't just blushing. It was avoidance. A dodge down a hallway here. A complete turn around there. Every time the woman avoided her, she felt a stab of anger because _how dare she?_ She was being childish, and it had to stop.

She had to confront her about it. But with the woman avoiding her like the plague, she wasn't sure how to do that. She would have to wait for her chance.

* * *

 **Hope**

It's past midnight when the knocking on her door wakes her that night. She'd only just gotten to sleep, having stayed up later than normal to catch up on some files, but she hears the doorbell ring. And then again. The shrill sound runs through her large house, and had she not heard it the first time, she definitely had now.

She grabbed a robe from her bedside table and made her way to her front door. As she reached the middle of the stairs, the lock turned in the door and the mahogany opened quietly. She froze, unable to move. Fear spread over her, her heart shooting into her throat for a moment before rational thought kicked in. What kind of burglar would ring the doorbell? She reached the door just as a familiar head poked in.

"Dr. Cameron?" she blinked once, twice. Surely she had to be asleep. She caught sight of the glassy look in the other woman's eyes as she turned to face her, "Are you drunk?"

A lazy smile slipped on the younger woman's face as she shut the door behind her, leaning back against it, replying, "It's Tuesday."

Clearly she was beyond drunk because that made no sense. "And you have work in the morning," she fired back without missing a beat, "What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

The woman frowned softly, her lips forming a slight pout, "You have a key under your flowerpot." Did _everyone_ on House's team know that? She really needed to hide her key somewhere else, "I broke it off with Chase." She was barely slurring her words but there wasn't a doubt in her mind the woman was drunk; still, she couldn't stop the bloom of hope that rose in her chest.

And yet… _This was not a conversation that needed to be done at quarter past 1 in the morning_. She had every intention of turning her away, wanted to tell her those very words, but then Allison moved forward and draped her arms around her shoulders; the smell of scotch was on her breath, her head lolling forward to rest against her shoulder, and she knew that she couldn't toss her out at this hour. So many different thoughts were running around in her head, desperate to be released, but all that came out was, "Let's get you into bed."

She felt the woman's lips curve into a smile, "Yours?"

"Couch," she fired back, though her lips were tilted with a rueful smile, "Come on. You need to sleep off whatever alcohol you had."

She didn't sleep much that night.

* * *

 **Love**

The months passed slowly after the night at her house. A lot changed without her realizing. For instance, the younger brunette had stopped avoiding her. They'd become something like friends, though it never effected their work. It was refreshing; House wasn't even bothering her as much as normal.

She'd invited the other woman to her house for Christmas dinner; while she didn't celebrate it, she knew the other woman did and hadn't wanted her to be alone over the holiday season. She was happy the woman had agreed. Now, sitting by the fire after a delicious meal, sipping pinot noir, she was starting to feel nervous.

"This was nice," Allison remarked, a soft smile gracing her lips, "Thank you for inviting me."

"You're welcome. I've got something for you. I'll be right back." She left the room, grabbing the small package. She smiled softly. She could do this. She took a breath, heading back into the room, "Merry Christmas, Allison."

"Thank you," The young doctor accepts the wrapped gift with a smile. "I feel bad. I didn't get you anything. Chanukah was over a couple days ago and I didn't even think."

"That's alright. Open it," she requests, and the younger brunette settles back on the couch.

Slender fingers slide under the beautifully decorated paper, and she takes her time opening it. She gasps softly, "Lisa…" She takes the necklace, holding it out gently. It's a silver heart on a silver chain. It had been perfect for the other woman; she knew it the moment she saw it, "it's beautiful."

"You like it?"

"I love it," She looks at the other woman, a grin on her lips, "Put it on me?"

"Of course," She shifts closer, "let me see." Allison moves her hair aside, handing over the necklace. She leaned closer, breath washing over the delicate neck before she hooked the clasp. "There."

Allison turns, the necklace dangling against her dress shirt, "What do you think?"

She smiles softly, "Perfect."

Something flickers in blue-green eyes then before Allison's gaze dart to her lips, "Yeah, I think so too." The young doctor smiles softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth, pulling away a fraction of an inch. "Was that ok?"

"More than ok," she answers, and she pulls her back towards her, kissing her.

Allison moans into her mouth, latching onto her shirt. And it's so perfect, everything she's ever wanted for the last few months. The emotion that blooms in her chest was one that she's sure has been there since the beginning: Love


End file.
